home

After an extremely long day, and a lengthy drive through the dark to a place somewhat familiar, but still relatively unknown to me, I woke up this morning to the sound of the waves.

I absolutely love it here on the North Shore; it’s become our happy place. And, it’s now my haven of healing.¬†Walking down to the beach, coffee in hand, I noticed how much more like myself I feel in this place above any other.

My last visit here brought with it the single most painful discovery of my life to date, followed by one of those amazing God-moments that is far too personal, and too difficult, to adequately express.

Today, I realized just how much God has truly done in my life. In my heart. The tears were real, but they were different – the pain wasn’t as raw, and they brought with them a deep joy and relief, knowing that while the scars are still relatively fresh (it’s only been 10 months), there has been an undeniable shift.

shell 2015

After a time of prayer and reflection, as I was standing up, I looked to my left and found this shell. Nearly perfect, and renter-free, it seemed like it had placed there, just for me.

God is with me.

Wave after wave of betrayal has come, followed by endless waves of God’s grace. The countless grains of sand remind me of the brokenness of my dreams and heart, and, that the totality of my many fragments results in a softness and depth created only by friction and time. While I would never choose the path I have been on, the sum of my experiences has brought me to a place I never could have imagined.

Home.

 

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