I recently had a conversation with a friend about ownership. People-pleasers and co-dependents alike can relate to the struggle with taking on another person’s offense as their own…Or choosing to blame themselves or to over-analyze their own shortcomings at the request of another. Sometimes the very thought of potentially hurting someone or ruffling feathers can send such people to a place of panic; disarming their ability to function healthfully within the context of relationships where the other is more often offended than not.
There have been several situations in my life where I have found myself apologizing for something I did or did not do, dissecting every word and intention for the sold purpose of reconciliation, with little regard to my own feelings or freedoms to simply be loved and accepted for who I am. Often there are expectations that cannot be met by myself in the current season of life that I am in, and I find myself drawn to those who are comfortable with what I can offer and are kind enough to trust my heart towards them, even when I fall short.
It’s never a healthy decision to take on feelings that don’t belong to you. While it’s true that we are all responsible to treat others with as much dignity and respect that we can, and to own our poor or misguided choices, we cannot entertain those who will be hurt or put off by actions that have nothing to do with them. Or, with those who are unable or unwilling to move past such difficulties. At that point, the burden becomes theirs and theirs alone. Forgiveness is a weight each of us must carry alone…
Below is a link to one of my favorite songs. Take a moment, take a listen, receive His healing…It really is a beautiful exchange. 🙂