a new language

Over the course of my life, much of it was spent trying to overcome. Whether it be an emotional state, a crisis, or a challenge, I have lived out the majority of my days problem solving. I am not certain if it is due to my position in the birth order, personality, my upbringing, my calling, or just a general dysfunction, but picking myself up off the floor is something I am good at. It’s comfortable. It’s normal.

My faith in a living God has existed as long as I can remember, and even in my moments of doubt and fear I have trusted that somehow, some way, God would always come through. And yet, my words and thoughts, sometimes even my choices, have rarely (getting real, here) lined up with what I would say I believe. Let’s be honest, it’s hard to see the forest through the trees when chainsaws are cutting down all that is around you and the only One you believe capable to stopping the onslaught is seemingly invisible, on the other side of that forest…

For several years now, I have been blessed with the opportunity to be surrounded by people of similar belief and stance. Whether they have a more seasoned faith, or a little less practice, than myself, for the most part we are all on the same road. We are all pressing in to do this whole life (and faith) thing better; to its greatest potential.

Oftentimes, I feel so completely inadequate in this area, and struggle to find the balance between being authentic and choosing to speak words of life over my situations. The challenge has deepened over the last couple years as I have faced physical health situations that have brought a new dimension to my ability to really walk in a position of wholeness. The struggle is real.

Yesterday, however, I was sharing a particular situation with a friend, and, after I stated what was truly in my heart, she shook her head and said, “Wow, I just love the way you always speak life over your situations.” In that moment, it felt so confirming that there finally has been some growth; and that my first response has truly shifted from one of fear to that of faith.

They say it takes 30 days to learn a new habit, but I would submit to you that heart change, in its truest sense, will most likely take more time than that. While it’s true that the Lord can choose to change a heart overnight, break an addiction in a moment, or heal before one’s own eyes, I do solidly believe that it is often so much more blessed to see the long-term result of choice. The decision to walk out a restorative process not only develops a greater fortitude, but also reinforces that truest nature of a loving and far-reaching God who will never leave – no matter how long our personal process takes.

It’s never easy to learn something new. It can be daunting, it can seem difficult and possibly even impossible, but with God all things are possible. Even learning a new language…


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