When I was in college I played this silly game where at the end of a series of questions, you had to close your eyes & imagine having coffee with a man, describe him, then describe what the mug looked like. Mine was black & sturdy. I was told that if I had imagined more of a tea cup, my marriage would be fragile, but since I had envisioned this strong form, my marriage would be strong as well. This morning, I pulled my favorite mug from my cupboard – it’s a Rock Church mug with our logo on the side. It’s sturdy. Black. There’s a small crack now, & a chip. The letters are a bit faded. I love my mug & as I paused to look at it, I remembered that game from so long ago & realized that really, it had been right. Not about my first marriage, but about my forever one. And I realized that the game doesn’t predict as much about the actual marriage as it does the person playing. It is I who is resilient. The strength of my marriage is not determined by the magical love connection that is made; but rather hinges on my ability to prioritize, apologize, forgive, & to see things from an eternal perspective, instead of adopting a desire for immediate gratification.
While a bit worn now, I love my mug. It’s familiar and dear to me. Every time I choose to spend my morning with it, I feel something deep inside me. I feel like me.