Relationships are a tricky thing.
Years ago a dear friend shared some wisdom with me. She said that when we express a thought, opinion, or feelings, we do not get to have an expectation of how it will be received. Our job is to share, and be authentic in delivery, but that the hearer may or may not respond in the manner that we hope, so therefore, to be free of expectation.
Walking in my own shoes, it is super important to me that there is peace. All the time. Harmony… Understanding… I long for tender embraces and laughter after the tears. In my world, relationship is more important than being right, and I would rather own my part and prefer the other person, than to dig my heels in and wait for the chasm to be bridged.
Unfortunately for me, I am discovering that most people do not share my heart for such a utopia. And that has to be ok, too.
In life with others, we tend to hold to a lot of “should’s,” but these are based largely upon our own personal perspective, filter systems, and familial expectations. Being that we are often in relationship with people who were raised differently and do not share our own personality types AND filters, we can expect that at some point our own desired response or outcome will sometimes elude.
More. Often. Than. Not.
When we release others from having to perform in a certain way, we give them permission to be real, and ourselves to be as well. True relationship requires an ebb and flow, freedom to fail, and a soft place to land.
It is not always easy, and the process of learning to love others with a completely open hand seems scary at times, but it is the closest to how God loves us.
Who can you release today? Whose freedom will bring you clarity as well? Forgiveness? Try opening your hand today.