I struggle with anger. It’s been a problem my whole life, really. Growing up, I always wanted to be “good,” and like many people, I didn’t find a healthy way to express it. It seemed like a sin to be angry (you know, “love is patient, love is kind…”). As a result, I swallowed my pain and frustrations, and became melancholy, sometimes depressed, turning my anger inward where it was “safe.” By the time I was a young adult, I began to express myself with tough language and alcohol. College gave me a freedom to express outwardly what was going on in my heart, but it was still imbalanced and unhealthy.
Even now, years later, I struggle to find a balance. I often vacillate between breathing deeply (and sometimes stuffing it) and expressing myself passionately. Jesus got angry, turning over tables. I’m not sure I would feel okay in doing that myself, but it certainly lends itself to at least some consideration as to what is “sinning in anger,” and what is actually being healthy in expression.
How do you express your frustration? What is worthy of that energy to you? Is it more a cultural bias than an absolute? Thoughts??