clarity of living

Watching the rain fall, listening to Fleetwood Mac, looking at pictures of my husband from his childhood and earlier days before us… Taking a moment to breathe and appreciate a day of normalcy as my best friend is now home from the ICU… Spending all those days in Seattle was simultaneously a challenge, as I watched my friend in pain, and comforting as I was back where I started from.

There are moments in life when everything becomes crystal clear. Even those things which still disappoint or don’t make complete sense.

I am 42. I am on my second marriage and we have his, hers and ours equaling 6 kids. My marriage almost fell apart last year. There are people from my family of origin I no longer have relationship with. The number of friends who pour into my life is overwhelming, and the grace that covers my life, incomprehensible. I feel as though every struggle, loss, season of trial, happy memory, relationship, decision….has prepared me for this very moment. Right now. It’s as though every breath I am taking, brings more and more clarity.

And resolve.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds. Nor what all of yesterday means. But I know that my God holds it all. And I know who I am. Perhaps that is the clarity I have been living for.





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