day 5 – derailed at repentence

“God wants to purify our minds until we can bear all things, believe all things, hope all things and endure all things. God dwells in you, but you cannot have this divine power until you live and walk in the Holy Ghost, until the power of the new life is greater than the old life.” – Smith Wigglesworth

Driving home from dropping my kids off at school this morning, I turned the radio off and decided to spend some time in prayer. Halfway home, I was suddenly reminded of something that happened when I was a small child. In an instant, I was no longer praying and setting my intention for the day, but rather spiraling downward into a familiar sea of guilt and regret.

After rehearsing what little I can remember, asking God if I can or should do anything about it now, and feeling an overwhelming sensation of sadness, I prayed out loud.

“God, please forgive me. I repent…”

Repentance in the bible infers not only a feeling of remorse, but an actual turning from the sin, and moving towards the forgiveness and directives of God. As soon as “repent” fell from my lips, my voice trailed off, for I had already turned away from my sin. Years ago.

It’s not that God hasn’t forgiven me. I, haven’t forgiven me.

So often, we struggle to fully receive the grace of God; prevent ourselves from stepping into the freedom He has for us.  For years, I tried to be “good enough.” I longed to do everything “right,” and was awful to myself when I didn’t. My need to please others and be a “good person” overshadowed any possibility of pursuing who I really was, or what I actually wanted. With no clear direction of where I was going, or of who I was, I based all of my decisions on what I believed would make other people happy, like me, and see me as a valuable person. Needless to say, I was not set up for long-term success.

When we don’t embrace, or even recognize, that our truest value comes from knowing who our Creator designed us to be, it is easy to become distracted by the things of this life. Our inability to receive the forgiveness of God has not only long-term consequences, but can literally change our daily outlook on relationships, affect our decision-making, derail our prayer time…

Where are you getting hung up? What is that thing you fear? Regret? Believe about yourself? Is there something you can hand over today that might literally change the way you see your life; your very worth? Renew your mind today. Set your eyes like flint on where you are headed and refuse to allow anything to come between you and your trust walk with God. Daily renew your mind, receive the grace and forgiveness, and watch your future unfold.

2 Corinithians 5:17-21 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.


The first step as we move into a new year is letting the past remain there. Release today what is no longer yours and exchange it for the freedom that unfolds in a life spent with Him….



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