day ??? of the corona lockdown

This week we have had protesters in the streets, prisoners released, a speech by our governor which literally said nothing and leaving even his fans scratching their heads, keyboard warriors at the peak of their passionate performances, and weary mamas finally resting in the truth that perfection is unattainable and yes, your child really is hungry. Again.

Even those decry video games are joining their children, and teachers who scream restrictions on screen time are communicating with their students almost entirely through computer and online sources. Truth be told, my son has never loved school more, nor been more motivated to just get it done and stop pushing back. Somewhat miraculous, actually.

Personally, this has been a roller coaster of epic proportion. My husband and I lost vital sources of income at the very start of the pandemic, and just as suddenly as the bottom fell out, provision arrived. The weeks which have followed have looked a little more like a crazy sitcom than real life …

lost jobs


family challenge

gift card in the mail (anonymous)

diabetes diagnosis for our cat

another gift card and our utilities paid off

internal family strife

struggling with new job

obtain second new job

crazy hormonal and emotional crash

relationship mayhem

cataracts diagnosis (in both eyes!) for me

overwhelming PEACE.

I salute my friends who have received the endless emo texts and Marco Polos – to say that I have never cried so much as I have in the past three years or so would be an understatement. The constant release, forced confrontation of inner turmoil, and extreme relief in God’s most persistent and tangible presence has been recipe for more healing, growth, hope and emotion than I ever could have anticipated.

The darker the world, the brighter His light.

To say we will never again return to normal is truth. To say that some have lost everything, even life and loved ones, is unbearably true. But I must also admit that the truth of it is that the Lord never leaves us forsakes us. I was recently speaking with someone who stated they knew God would care for them, that they wouldn’t ever lose their home or declare bankruptcy or anything. I paused.

For you see, my marriage was more than tenuous for over a decade; we lost two cars, two homes, declared bankruptcy, my husband nearly died…and this was all in the midst of excruciating relationship challenges on EVERY front. To most, my confession that God is good might look strange. Insane, even. But there are changes which have occurred, generation curses broken, lives healed, eyes opened, moves and new relationships and job opportunities which never would have happened had things worked out and God “showed up” the way I would have preferred.

In this season as well, I believe we all have opportunities – to evaluate, assess, identify and take ownership of our spiritual, relational and emotional well being. We are ripe for perspective shift and primed for breakthrough. Jehovah Rapha is the Lord Who Provides, and El Roi is the God Who Sees. Our God is with us, He is watching, He is waiting …

for us to let it go and let Him in.

For those of you in lack, I am praying a blessing. For those with something to share, ask the Lord today who you are meant to share with. If you have power to help – do so. If you have only your time – pray. But most of all, whether it’s making up for years of lost nap time….a decade of not taking care of your body or your skin or health or marriage… perhaps a book you never read or a letter you never wrote, please don’t miss this opportunity. For tomorrow will never be the same, and neither should we.


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