Over the weekend I came upon some information that rocked me to my core. It took me back to a dark place, and I was quickly swallowed up in overwhelming emotion. I felt betrayed, broken and extremely vulnerable. Honestly, it was astounding, my response, and I became fully aware of how much I still need to heal in certain areas.
When we walk through dark seasons, and God begins to redeem what has been lost and bless areas that were lacking, it can be very easy to move forward too quickly and assume all is restored to its perfect state. Reality is, however, that healing comes in phases, and ebbs and flows. Forgiveness is a process and not always simple.
The shortcut to the end of the story is that I had been misinformed, and thankfully I had only confided in one person, so was only held to one awful conversation in which I had to own up to my mistake. What was good about all this was my being positioned to understand that I am still not whole.
There is work to be done.
The series that has been going the past few weeks at church (www.therockchurch.info) has been on forgiveness. Timely, as always, and so relevant to my heart and life right now. Once crisis is over, and boundaries have been established, we move on to forgiving and healing. It’s all a process, and if there is grieving/loss involved as well, that can greatly effect the length of time and how many circles back around the journey takes.
But, it is worth it.
Let freedom reign in your life today, whatever that looks like. We can rarely control our environment or circumstances, but we can always choose how to walk out the life we are presented with. Don’t let a little egg on the face prevent you from trying again, or cause you to believe you are a failure for not being where you think you need to be yet. Embrace, grace and love.