fathers.

Yesterday was quite possibly the most emotional Father’s Day for me to date. I am not entirely certain why this year was such, but a lump rose up even as I gave my husband his morning kiss and greeting.

Days celebrating a parent can be emotional for many of us.

I have fond memories of my dad growing up. And some not so much. There were challenges in his personal life that bled into his capacity to be as gentle as my spirit longed for. Even in my adulthood, certain issues sprung up that led to the setting of boundaries that had to put a distance between us. There is peace in the safety, and sadness at what could have been.

Our papa is missed and I celebrate him today.

Growing up, my oldest and dearest friend’s father was a constant presence, and a particularly tumultuous  season following my separation from my first husband lent an opportunity for us to grow even closer. As a result, he became my “spiritual father” and a most wonderful grandfather to our children.

I celebrate him today.

Most notably in my thoughts are my oldest two children’s father, and my husband. Both have worked hard to overcome the challenges of co-parenting, of step-parenting, and both have risen to the task in ways I could not have imagined. I think if I were to be honest, I had (and sometimes still have), some high expectations of what a solid, godly dad would look like, and yet if I were even more honest, I would say that the areas where they have veered from my hopes the greatest is where my kids have been blessed the most.

I celebrate them. Daily.

Years ago, a very wise said to me, as I sat in a puddle of tears, that God gave me the parents I was meant to have to mold me into the person I was meant to be. Regardless of what you have felt, or not felt, for your dad, give him honor for who he IS today, not for who he is not. All have fallen short, but all have given us what we needed. Even if that need is an empty space only God can fill…

 

Honor your mother and father, that you may live long and prosper in all things. – Exodus 20:12

 

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