for me.

I was thinking back to a time recently where I felt like I was missing out on something. This morning I saw a picture that reminded me of that situation, and I simply marvel sometimes at God’s planning – and His hand on my life. It steadies me in areas where I am still praying and looking for breakthrough.

A few months ago, my husband asked me to accompany him to Hawai’i for a business trip. He was to be working nearly the entire time, but we would have evenings and one day at the end to ourselves. When we were talking about it, I realized that if I did go, I would potentially miss out on being scheduled to sing with our worship team for Easter, as practices would be that week. It had been two years since being on stage for that particular holiday, and I didn’t want to miss the chance at my “turn.” (Easter, to us Christians, is a little like the State Cup to my soccer player daughter – it’s a big deal). But, I went ahead and said yes to the trip. I mean really, it’s Hawai’i.

Sure enough, just a few days later the schedule came out and I was on it. And, I  had to decline. I must say that I seriously considered cancelling my trip. Odd as that may sound to you. I struggled. Add to the struggle that my son was also going to be on stage and moments like that are not promised forever, especially as he nears adulthood, and I was pretty torn. I really love my church, those I serve beside there, and believe deeply in bringing light and hope to all who might seek Him. It’s my heart.

What happened after our plans were solidified was tragic, and quieted all doubts. One of  my sisters from my first marriage ended up in a coma. In Hawai’i. So, the second day we were on O’ahu, I flew to Kaua’i and spent the day with family – some I hadn’t seen since before my divorce. It was so good to see them, and it touched me  in a way I did not expect. (When we divorced, I lost my ohana. It has been a tremendous chasm).

Most of that day was spent in the hospital with another sister, Danielle, and we prayed, sang worship songs, cried, and rested in familiarity once again. There are absolutely no words for how precious that time was. And healing. My sweet sister, Eme, passed away shortly after my visit. I pray with all my heart that she could hear my voice and knew who I was. There will be many more Easters, part of the “team,” or not. But I will never again have such an opportunity this side of heaven, and God knew that. How remarkable that He would create such a moment in time for us.

For me.


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