i count, too

Growing up, there was a lot of conversation about taking personal responsibility. We were taught to apologize when we had done wrong, to always tell the truth, and to make certain that we took inventory of the feelings of those around us. Unfortunately, as an adult, I have found that not only is such positioning a rarity among most humans these days, but I have failed in finding the balance to ensure I don’t take on that which does not belong to me.

In trying to be cognizant of the feelings and needs of others, I have missed the mark in making choices that honor my OWN feelings and values. And, I have found that I am the only person who will look out for my own heart – I can’t count on the people around me to always look out for me the way I try to for them.

Most recently, I have begun a journey of self discovery that is leading me to make choices outside of my traditional stance. Choosing those things which may possibly rub other people the wrong way is something I have always avoided, and yet in order to head to where I feel called to, and to walk in my truth, into God’s calling for me, I have no other choice than to take personal responsibility for my OWN life and do what I feel led to do.

Regardless of my fears of the responses of those around me.

You see, my happiness has been based largely on my capacity to make the people around me happy, forgetting that THEY too, have choices to make. When my actions are driven by my perception of what will “keep the peace,” I not only end up walking outside of integrity to myself, but I  also prevent others from being accountable for themselves.

Bondage never brings freedom.

Today, I am making a conscious decision to be more aware of my “why,” and of the “who,” my actions are for.  While I still value the importance of telling the truth, apologizing when necessary, and owning my stuff, I also now recognize that taking personal responsibility is not just about my relationship to others, but also my relationship with myself.

And I count, too.

 

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