pushing buttons

It was hard to push that button. Mountains of doubt, and voices silently warning of potential regret, caused me to pause. It seemed so harsh. Like such a really big deal. I felt I was being cruel. Even spiteful. But I took a deep breath and gave in.

I deleted him from Facebook.

His words had been unkind. He spoke deceitfully and with a malice that I had known existed, but few had really seen. Today it was loud and clear – his true colors glistening like ice crystals on a sunny day.

We had never really been good friends, but I was in love with his wife and family. It was hard to feel so torn. At the end of the day, though, I knew any hope I had of not developing a bitterness was to disassociate myself from his opinions and prideful comments altogether. And really, at the end of the day, when did social media dictate authentic relationship??

Of course, things rarely go as one hopes, and I lost a few other friends as well. I suppose it just lets me know where we all stand. Perhaps I could have explained my decision, but the initial attack on those I love was enough to cause me to believe that a pursuit of effective dialogue was futile.

I really hope I never make anyone else feel that way. It’s been an interesting view into the hearts of others, this whole Facebook/social media thing. Words are carelessly flung like dung on a barn wall. Attacks, accusations, assumptions, passive aggressive attacks on character…It’s all quite remarkable. I have been guilty of it, too. Angrily making statements about people I feel wronged me. It’s a tragically easy way to blow steam. And damage people.

Today, I actually pushed the button a couple more times. It was time to set some boundaries in my world. I have often dialed back on what I have wanted to share as I don’t know all my FB “friends” as well as some. Some parts of my heart don’t need to be broadcast to all. And, really, well intended or not, some people just aren’t emotionally safe for me. A peacemaker by nature, pushing buttons is rarely my first response, but learning to establish healthy boundaries is a process I am finding more and more valuable the older I get…

What buttons do you need to push today??



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